How To Say Goodbye

The end has finally come. I finished my first semester of college. Now I can put that behind me and be glad that is over. I'm currently on a plane going to Baltimore, trying to not cry. I had to leave someone behind today.
Let me fast forward to September 12, 2013. I was excited for college, yet absolutely terrified. My grandparents came past security with me to bid me farewell. I remember going into the corridor and starting to tear up as I took the last look at my grandparents. It wouldn't be four months until I see them again, which is today.
I never knew I would fall in love while I was out here in Idaho attending college. I thought I would date around and just have fun. No guy ever asked me out and I was bummed. I wanted to be with someone and I felt ready. I finally gave up. It wasn't until November 3, 2013, that I started to talk to Taylor, who asked me out. I remember having a peaceful feeling knowing this is the right thing to do. We went on a date and hit it off really well. Well, if you look at us now we are in a relationship. He's a great guy. He's sweet, kind, considerate, hard-working, loving, knowledgeable, a good example, a great listener, someone I can confide in and talk to for hours. He's just overall an amazing guy that I do not want to let go.
However, I had to let him go this morning. It was a day I've been dreading since my eighteen birthday on November 11th.
I did not sleep at all during the night. I can honestly say I pulled an all-nighter and learned to never drink an energy drink since well it makes me even more tired and makes me sick. Not the smartest move on my part. It's like that saying, "you live and you learn." As I went through this semester I made that my moto.
During the night, I was finishing late night packing and cleaning the bathroom for white glove. I then left early that morning.
My head was pounding, my stomach feeling queasy and I just felt terrible. I wanted to change my flight because I felt so bad. Today is not my day honestly and I will get to that shortly. Taylor sat near me before I went to security and I was just trying to take it all in. I knew from weeks before, I would miss him terribly. He has become a huge part of my life.
I didn't want to ever let me go out those doors of the airport and me past security. I wanted to be in his arms for a long time. I didn't know I would have such a hard time saying goodbye to him. At that moment when I went through security, I was a little bit more worried over my headache and upset stomach. I then grab two bins to put my laptop, cell phone, iPod, belt, shoes and jacket in. I put my backpack in front of one of the bins and my duffel back in the back of the bins. I thought it would be a good idea to push my duffle bag which would make the two bins and my backpack move up, but lo and behold, the bin with my laptop, phone, iPod and belt fell to the floor and I quickly say, "you go to be kidding me?"
I went up to the gate I needed to be near and dropped a couple of things off near a chair because I really needed something carbonated for my stomach. My headache and stomachache was finally starting to feel better. I sit down and call my grandparents to tell them I got behind security and just needed someone to talk to, to pass time. As I was talking to them, it hit me, I was starting to miss Taylor. When I talked about him I couldn't keep my voice even or couldn't read his letter he wrote me because I was upset. I didn't want this day to be here. I wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet.
As I sat on my first plane, I sat next to a girl who attends BYU-Idaho and we talked about how we were both education majors and I happened to talk about Taylor. Nothing wrong with talking about my boyfriend, right? Then, I finally made it into Salt Lake City airport where I started to text and SnapChat him and started to miss him like crazy. I actually got on the plane to Baltimore pretty early because I had priority boarding, so I decided to read his letter and started to cry like a fool in my seat. I don't think anyone saw me sitting here crying.
Now as I write this blog post and reflect on the time I had with Taylor, I start to get teary-eyed and think of how grateful we are to live in a technological era where we can FaceTime, Skype, or do Google Hangouts with anyone, anytime, in any place.
Saying goodbye is the hardest when it is a love one. Did I expect to have so much trouble with leaving? No, not at first.
On a lighter note, it is not my day because well, I dropped my phone in snow, wasn't feeling good, said goodbye to my boyfriend, dropped a bin at the security check-in point, and when I was in Salt Lake, I went to fix my duffel bag on my arm and my phone went flying out of my hand. Classic Kayla, right?
I have to say, I am excited to be home in two hours, but I cannot wait to go back to Idaho this Spring to be with my favorite guy and to start my education major. Taylor is like my best friend, I can tell him anything and everything. That's what I like about him.