College life is different than I expected. I thought I would love having roommates, have a lot of friends, go on dates and love my major. But, mostly I am wrong and it's just had a fantasy. Life as a college student is harder than I thought.
In these past seven weeks, I learned a lot about myself. I learned I actually hate frozen food, I can't stand dirty things, I need to learn how to say no to my roommates, I'm not perfect and communication is not for me.
I just recently switched my major from communication with an emphasis in public relations to elementary education. I decided to switch because I am not creative, I don't feel like I am passionate about communication, I hate and I mean hate writing and don't feel like I am a good writer. I also kept getting a thought in my head saying switch your major into education. I also wanted to make a difference and inspire people and with communication I cannot do that. Then, I also love children. I'm hoping this is the right fit and I have known a lot of people who have said I would make a great teacher.
I am actually sick and tired of frozen meals. I have been living off of those horrible things since I have been here and I also have eaten out a lot due to me absolutely hating frozen food. Today I actually ventured out and made food, like real food today. This afternoon, after church I made pancakes and I actually made the batter (box of course but it still counts!). Then for dinner I made chicken and I happen to dip it in egg (it was scrambled with milk in it), parsley, Old Bay, salt and pepper and then I let it sit in the refrigerator for a half hour and after that I cooked it in a pan. I also made a small salad and some Pasta Roni. I am pleased to say it was really good and I am super happy I actually had a real meal. I actually haven't had a real meal since September 11th and that feels like forever ago.
During dinner my two FHE brothers came over to give my two roommates a blessing and I kept getting the impression to ask my FHE brothers for a blessing and today I got my first blessing. I actually needed it really bad and I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father knowing I am having such a hard time up here and having a hard time adjusting into this role as an adult and college student.
I absolutely hate my classes and I struggle with my roommates, I mean I am trying but I have a hard time. I don't feel like going into detail, but let's leave it as I am struggling and trying. Plus, being raised as an only child makes it harder to live with five other people.
I actually noticed tonight that I need to be around positive influences and that is when I am my most happy point and feel like life falls into place.
I have my high and lows here at BYU-Idaho. I honestly, feel like I am bitter and depressed up here but I am trying to get back to that girl who use to be positive and happy and confident. There are times where I am that girl and I want to be at 100%.
I have no idea what the next 7 weeks brings for me but I know in the end result I will be back home where I can have my room to myself, be with my dog and grandparents and just be home where life is less stressful.
Don't get me wrong I love BYU-Idaho, it is I just struggle with some of the people up here and adjusting to this new life I have.
